Wooden's Wisdom | Leadership Resource Center

Issue 415 - "FOMO and FOPO" (Valorie Kondos Field Part 6)


Wooden's Wisdom - Volume 9	Issue 415
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"FOMO AND FOPO" (VALORIE KONDOS FIELD PART 6) John Wooden Video Clip (99 sec.): Coach Wooden is asked: "What are some of the more gratifying moments you had in your career?" As the Gymnastics Coach at UCLA from 1991 to 2019 Valorie Kondos Field, often referred to as Miss Val, coached the Bruins to seven National Championships. Miss Val taught her team how to handle the social media spotlight. In her must-read book Life Is Short, Don't Wait to Dance, Miss Val provides two great methods to keep things in proper perspective: "Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)* and Fear of Other People's Opinions (FOPO), as coined by famed sport psychologist Michael Gervais), can knock you off your personal course if you let them.* We all experience these feelings at some point but if we are aware of them, we can make conscious choices about how to deal with them, so the fear doesn't dictate our behavior. One of the greatest culprits in cultivating both these fears is none other than our smartphones. My rule that the athletes can't have their phones with them during a team meal is because our habit is to check in with what's happening in our world, a.k.a. FOMO. This in turn starts affecting the team dynamic because they are no longer communicating and connecting with each other. Rather than slow down to reflect, we consume information as quickly as possible and move on to the next thing. FOMO fills us with anxiety. We worry that we have missed something important. Through FOMO we become more interested in the lives of others than in our own. My challenge with this instantly accessible information age is how to deal with it as a coach. I can see that their "relationships" with their phones and the information on those devices puts the girls under a tremendous amount of stress because they are unable to step away for any meaningful period of time. If that happens, they can't quiet their inner voice enough to just listen. I believe the best medicine to combat FOMO and FOPO is self-confidence and self-pride. These start with finding your presence and growth from within. Our sports psychologist Dr. P says, "A person will never see themselves in running water. It is only when the water is still that their reflected image will begin to emerge."" Too much screen time prevents us from connecting with each other and connecting with our self. Do you have FOMO or FOPO Click here for personal development exercise: Issue 415. Click here for Printable Poetry: Issue 415. Yours in Coaching, Craig Impelman www.woodenswisdom.com Follow @woodenswisdom	COACH'S FAVORITE POETRY AND PROSE Committee Meetings For this and that and various things It seems that men must get together, To purchase cups or diamond rings Or to discuss the price of leather. From nine to ten, or two to three, Or any hour that's fast and fleeting, There is a constant call for me To go to some committee meeting. The church has serious work to do, The lodge and club has need of workers, They ask for just an hour or two- Surely I will not join the shirkers? Though I have duties of my own I should not drop before completing, There comes the call by telephone To go to some committee meeting. No longer may I eat my lunch In quietude and contemplation; I must foregather with the bunch To raise a fund to save the nation. And I must talk of plans and schemes The while a scanty bite I'm eating, Until I vow to-day it seems My life is one committee meeting. When over me the night shall fall, And my poor soul goes upwards winging Unto that heavenly realm, where all Is bright with joy and gay with singing, I hope to hear St. Peter say- And I shall thank him for the greeting: 'Come in and rest from day to day; Here there is no committee meeting!' Edgar Allen Guest (1881-1959)
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