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Issue 631 - When You Are Told No… Ask Why (Jia Jiang and John Wooden)

Woodens Wisdom
Wooden's Wisdom - Volume 13 Issue 631
Craig Impelman Speaking |  Championship Coaches |  Champion's Leadership Library Login


In his must-read book, "Rejection Proof," ( ), Jia Jung makes the point that when you are rejected you should: "Ask "WHY" before GOOD-BYE." He put it this way:
"There is a reason behind every decision that people make, whether it’s logical and well thought out or emotional and spur of the moment. Knowing the reason behind a rejection can help dissipate, or even dissolve, any of the pain one might feel otherwise.
Many of the people who rejected me did so not because of the merit of my request, or because of anything about me, but for a completely different reason—sometimes one that was easily addressable.
Once I understood that, I realized I was able to cope with the rejection much more easily. I even learned to use rejections as learning experiences to make my requests even better the next time. There’s only an upside to asking "why." After all, you have been rejected already.
And the insight you might glean from the response you get could prove valuable. Indeed, asking "why" can even be a tool for turning a rejection into an acceptance."
The cornerstone of John Wooden’s success was his unrelenting curiosity (constantly asking why). Denny Crum felt one of Coach Wooden’s greatest strengths was that: "He didn’t feel he knew it all. He was always searching for ways to improve."
If you don’t ask "why" you won’t learn a new "how".
Do you ask "why" or just walk away?

Yours in Coaching,
Craig Impelman




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Application Exercise




Behind full many a gift there lies
A splendid tale of sacrifice.

On Christmas morn a mother's hand
About a young girl's neck will place
A trinket small, and she will stand
With radiant smiles upon her face
To see her daughter decked in gold,
Nor will she think, nor will she care
That she may suffer from the cold
Because that bauble glistens there.

A child will wake on Christmas Day
And find his stocking filled with toys;
The home will ring with laughter gay,
That boy be glad as richer boys.
And there a mother fond will sing
A song of joy to hear his shout,
Forgetting every needed thing
That she will have to do without.

A heart that's brimming o'er with love
Will suffer gladly for a friend,
And take no time in thinking of
How much it can afford to spend.
And suddenly on Christmas morn
Will gladness beam from shining eyes,
A gladness that alone was born
Of someone's willing sacrifice.

Let cynics scoff howe'er they will
And say but fools such presents give,
There'll be such sacrifices till
All human love shall cease to live.
'Twould be a dreary world of thrift,
Of barren ways, and sunless skies,
If no one ever gave a gift
That was not born of sacrifice.

The brightest gifts that us reward
Are those the givers can't afford.

Edgar Albert Guest (1881-1959)






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