|Wooden's Wisdom - Volume 12
|Craig Impelman Speaking | Championship Coaches | Champion's Leadership Library Login
"COLLABORATE, DON’T CONTEND" – JIA JIANG (JIA JIANG AND JOHN WOODEN)
John Wooden Video Clip (1 min. 28 sec.): Coach Wooden is asked: "What did you look for in a potential player?"
Coach Wooden had four pieces of advice for effective conflict resolution:
In his must-read book, "Rejection Proof", ( https://www.rejectiontherapy.com/100-days-of-rejection-therapy ), Jia Jung applies these principles with his "Collaborate, Don’t Contend" approach to rejection:
"Arguing with a person who turns you down is probably the least effective way to change the individual’s response. In fact, it’s almost a sure way to get a rejection, because arguing always turns potential collaborators into enemies.
Instead of walking away—or settling—start asking more questions. Work with the person rejecting you so you both share a common view of the situation. Create a situation where it’s not a you-vs.-me zero-sum game, but an us-vs.-them problem-solving game. Make solving the problem a win for both parties.
When I feared rejection, it felt natural to view the people who hold the power to grant me a yes or a no as adversaries. But after I shifted that thinking and started viewing them as collaborators, I suddenly found myself in a whole new territory. I didn’t approach the decision maker with any negative feelings, and that even-keeled mental approach enabled me to maintain positivity and respect. By asking questions about the problem at hand, I turned the potential rejector into a collaborator. The flip side, the opposite of collaboration—argument—is a magnet for rejection."
Do you create collaboration?
Yours in Coaching,
The Child World
The child world is a wondrous world,
Edgar Albert Guest (1881-1959)
For more information visit www.woodenswisdom.com
Email a Friend
Return to Issue List