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Issue 652 - "Speak your mind. Don’t whine."

Woodens Wisdom
Wooden's Wisdom - Volume 13 Issue 652
Craig Impelman Speaking |  Championship Coaches |  Champion's Leadership Library Login


Joshua Wooden provided this direct instruction to his sons: "Don't whine, don't complain, don't make excuses. Just do the best you can. Nobody can do more than that." His father’s instruction and example shaped John Wooden’s mindset for life.
It is important to make a distinction between whining and speaking your mind. In the workplace, try using Napoleon Hill’s advice: "If you have something to say to somebody or about somebody, think if it will help them or hurt them. If it will help them say it; if it will hurt them, don't." This will help to create a culture where negative criticism and gossip are not accepted.
Talking directly to a person about a situation you are not happy with is not whining or complaining if the person is able to effect a change and your approach is one of respect and genuine concern. We must always facilitate feedback from our coworkers and not have them feel like they are complaining when they disagree with us. Coach Wooden’s maxim "Disagree without being disagreeable" is an effective way to manage that communication.
If a player is in the locker room complaining to teammates about her/his playing time that is whining and complaining. If that same player goes directly to the Coach and asks how they can earn more playing time (or even better: How they can help the team more?) that is good communication.
The employee who complains about their rate of pay to co-workers is a whiner. The employee who goes directly to the boss and asks how they can earn more money is speaking up and should be encouraged to do so.
Coach Wooden followed up with this advice: "Complaining, whining, and making excuses just keep you out of the present. If your complaints are constant, serious, and genuine about your calling, then leave when practical."
Do you stay in the present?

Yours in Coaching,
Craig Impelman




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Application Exercise



Nothing Unusual

They lived together thirty years,
I Through storm and sunshine, weal and woe;
They shared each other's hopes and fears —
She still his sweetheart, he her beau;
She, proud of him, though he was not
A millionaire, or known to fame.
The wife — contented with her lot,
The man — well, very much the same.

He never thought she ought to be
Always agreeable and gay;
And she did not expect that he
Would never have a grouchy day.
She did not think that he was one
Without a single fault or whim,
Nor did she try a paragon
Of goodness to make out of him.

But, hand in hand, they went along
Through all the moods that humans know;
Displeasure came when things went wrong,
She still his sweetheart, he her beau.
Frowns, smiles, delight, despair, they knew,
With love always to dry their tears,
Just simple human folks, those two
Who lived together thirty years.

Edgar Albert Guest (1881-1959)






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