Wooden's Wisdom - Volume 13 | Issue 662 |
Craig Impelman Speaking | Championship Coaches | Champion's Leadership Library Login | |
"FOCUS ON BEING INTERESTED NOT INTERESTING" (DANIEL COYLE AND JOHN WOODEN) In his book, "The Culture Code," Daniel Coyle gives an example of how to focus on being interested, not interesting:
"In Conversation, Resist the Temptation to Reflexively Add Value: The most important part of creating vulnerability often resides not in what you say, but in what you do not say. This means having the willpower to forgo easy opportunities to offer solutions and make suggestions. Skilled listeners do not interrupt with phrases like Hey, here’s an idea or let me tell you what worked for me in a similar situation because they understand that it’s not about them.
Use a repertoire of gestures and phrases that keep the other person talking. "One of the best ways to respond is: " ‘Say more about that.’"
A mentor of mine described this process as "Let the other person get some wins." or "you don’t always have to add on."
If someone comes to you with a promising idea, simply say: "That’s a good idea." Save your ideas for follow up, expansion, implementation and deadlines for execution for another day. Let your teammate walk away from the conversation with a win, not more work to do.
If you do this, people will approach you with their ideas more frequently instead of avoiding you. This can be especially beneficial when communicating with your children.
Coach Wooden had a wonderful knack for getting others to do their best thinking. When you asked Coach a question, he would answer exactly the question you asked and then pause until you asked another question.
Are you focused on being interested or being interesting?
Yours in Coaching, Craig Impelman
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He Earned His Way Rose unto the bights of fame Edgar Albert Guest (1881-1959)
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