Wooden's Wisdom | Leadership Resource Center

Issue 662 - "Focus On Being Interested Not Interesting" (Daniel Coyle and John Wooden)


Wooden's Wisdom - Volume 13	Issue 662
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"FOCUS ON BEING INTERESTED NOT INTERESTING" (DANIEL COYLE AND JOHN WOODEN) John Wooden Video Clip (44 sec.): Coach Wooden is asked: "What is your greatest strength as a coach?" In his book, "The Culture Code," Daniel Coyle gives an example of how to focus on being interested, not interesting: "In Conversation, Resist the Temptation to Reflexively Add Value: The most important part of creating vulnerability often resides not in what you say, but in what you do not say. This means having the willpower to forgo easy opportunities to offer solutions and make suggestions. Skilled listeners do not interrupt with phrases like Hey, here’s an idea or let me tell you what worked for me in a similar situation because they understand that it’s not about them. Use a repertoire of gestures and phrases that keep the other person talking. "One of the best ways to respond is: " ‘Say more about that.’" A mentor of mine described this process as "Let the other person get some wins." or "you don’t always have to add on." If someone comes to you with a promising idea, simply say: "That’s a good idea." Save your ideas for follow up, expansion, implementation and deadlines for execution for another day. Let your teammate walk away from the conversation with a win, not more work to do. If you do this, people will approach you with their ideas more frequently instead of avoiding you. This can be especially beneficial when communicating with your children. Coach Wooden had a wonderful knack for getting others to do their best thinking. When you asked Coach a question, he would answer exactly the question you asked and then pause until you asked another question. Are you focused on being interested or being interesting? Click here for personal development exercise: Issue 662. Click here for Printable Poetry: Issue 662. Yours in Coaching, Craig Impelman www.woodenswisdom.com Follow @woodenswisdom	COACH'S FAVORITE POETRY AND PROSE He Earned His Way Rose unto the bights of fame And with the great men stood, He heard the people cheer his name And speak of him as good. Success at last he had attained By toiling day by day; His father's name was unprofaned, His crest of honor was unstained, He earned his way. He had not sought the easy road Nor tried a doubtful scheme, But he had borne his heavy load Up hill and over stream. He had not stooped to do a wrong That might not be unlearned; But though the way at times seemed long He plodded on with courage strong And every victory earned. He heard men whisper in the night, That venturing disgrace, And stepping from the path of right But hiding every trace, Were all he had to do to win, That honor could be feigned, But still he kept a lifted chin, Filled with the holy thought within, To earn whate'er he gained. He rose unto the heights of fame, And with the great men stood; He never compromised with shame, Nor bartered what was good. With head erect he toiled along, With clean hands for the fray, He heard the gossip of the throng That many profited by wrong, But earned his way. Edgar Albert Guest (1881-1959)
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