|Wooden's Wisdom - Volume 5
|Craig Impelman Speaking | Championship Coaches | Champion's Leadership Library Login
LOOK IN THE MIRROR FIRST
Sometimes when another person is rude to us we get upset. The situation becomes worse if they raise their voice or use a condescending tone and we match their tone when we react. The situation becomes even less productive when we discuss the negative event with somebody else later in the day or spend time thinking about how poorly that person treated us.
These types of events may occur with a stranger, a coworker or even a family member. Instead of getting upset before you react, respond by doing a quick mental: look in the mirror first drill.
Ask yourself, why am I letting this person make me lose my self-control? Then quickly make your mind up to respond calmly and de-escalate the situation. This may require some high-quality listening, so prepare yourself to be patient.
At some point it is productive to ask yourself what you did to get the other person upset. This is not always easy to do because sometimes we view the situation as the other person's fault. That may be true, but analyzing how we could have avoided the situation is still productive.
In his book: The Essential Wooden, with Steve Jamison, Coach Wooden put it this way:
Be hardest on yourself - the model for what you want your team to become. Don't look for others to be your quality control expert. Be your own harshest critic.
The same type of situation can arise if we lose patience when instructing, coaching or requesting something from somebody else. A quick mental: look in the mirror first drill to remind yourself to be patient can be helpful.
Coach Wooden said he had to work hard at being patient and having self-control of his emotions. Ultimately, his terrific self-control became a part of his legacy. He looked in the mirror and became his own quality control expert.
The Chinese philosopher Lao-tze (600 B.C.), described the value of being your own quality control expert:
The person who gains a victory over others is strong; but the person who gains a victory over them self is all powerful.
The person who knows others is wise. The person who knows them self is enlightened.
Who is your quality control expert?
Yours in Coaching,
Oh Captain My Captain
Here Walt Whitman mourns the fallen Abraham Lincoln.
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