|Wooden's Wisdom - Volume 2
|Craig Impelman Speaking | Championship Coaches | Champion's Leadership Library Login
YOU CANNOT BE JUDGED BY WHAT OTHERS SAY ABOUT YOU, BUT YOU CAN BY WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT OTHERS
Click here for Coach Wooden Video Clip (1:23). Coach is asked: "How did you manage strong willed players?"
This quote from Coach Wooden reflected two very important parts of his personal philosophy. Don't be overly concerned about what others say about you and never say an unkind word about another person.
The great quality Coach Wooden had of never speaking ill about somebody else was something he learned from his father. In his book with Steve Jamison. The Essential Wooden: A Lifetime of Lessons on Leaders and Leadership, Coach described his father’s example:
I never-not once-heard my father say an unkind word about another person. This is hard to do, but he accomplished it. Joshua Wooden believed that saying bad things about others is a bad habit.
For all the shortcomings I see in others, I keep in mind that my own failings are many. Tempting as it is to count up and call out when others stumble and fall in their behavior-to shake my head and wag a finger-I attempt to follow dad's example.
In his book with Don Yaeger A Game Plan for Life, Coach expanded on how his father’s example impacted the way he talked about his players:
I would never publicly criticize a player for poor performance. Even in moments of extreme frustration, I would check myself because it just didn’t seem right—because it didn’t seem like something my father would have done.
I admired my father’s refusal to speak badly about others, but I don’t think I necessarily set out to make that a rule for myself. I imagine I considered that to be too lofty a goal. Yet as time went on, I found it was a practice that had etched itself onto my soul, so that if I ever slipped up on that matter, I felt pain rather than satisfaction.
Coach’s practice of keeping it positive was also something he insisted his players do. One of his three rules for practice was: never criticize a teammate. If a player violated this rule he was subject to being kicked out of practice for the day.
Sometimes when people say negative things about others they are doing it to strike back or get even for something negative that was said about them.
Coach had two great quotes which summarized why he thought such a reaction was not a good use of our time and energy:
Revenge is the weak pleasure of a little and narrow mind.
Time spent getting even would be better spent trying to get ahead.
Or as Francis Bacon said: A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green.
We have all heard the comment: I never heard him/her say a bad word about anybody given about somebody as a compliment.
I think that would be a great thing to hear about ourselves as well.
Yours in Coaching,
Forgiveness is a thing sublime,
God provided and gave us a choice,
Do not hold or harbor hatred, you see,
Betty L. Delaney
Not to forgive is emptiness
For more information visit www.woodenswisdom.com
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